Jim Telfos has a date with destiny, 25 years in the making. Looking in the mirror there seems to be no stopping him. Youngest partner in the history of the firm. Like a bullet, Jim shot up through the corporate ranks. Once a lowly assistant copywriter, and now partner of McDonnel, Clarion, and Muldoone. His parents were so proud of him, and they couldn’t help but brag to their young, fresh-lipsticked bank teller every time their son sent home, what Jim penned as, “a little dividend of my success”.
Not only was Jim respected, hell revered, at the firm, but he was also well loved by the ladies of New Milford. Jim had a way of smiling while he listened; which, made whoever happened to be wearing the pair of heels under his table, feel like they were wearing the only set of pumps in the universe. That lady was eve consuming a variety of chicken covered weeds with her Adam. To add to the mystery, the experience of a Jim dinner date, this firm partner was never pushy. Sometimes he would find his way to a young lady’s flat by the docks or sometimes on the lower east side. Often, however, Jim simply loved to gain a lady’s desire, only to collect excuses to be invited in. There were many proscriptions for “coming up”. “Have you seen my cat? I have the nicest china from china. Have you seen all of the movies nominated this year? Simply, come on up, are you coming up, or how about I fix you a drink were all popular.
The more lines Jim collected, the more desire and envy he came to elicit, Jim was collecting less and less of it. He felt as though a cosmic middle man was collecting all of his profits, all of his life enjoyed. Jim was left with pennies in his cosmic bank. He often wondered if this was a life reincarnated. Had he been a scratching cat in the past. A member of the klu klux klan, or perhaps a miserly old crank. There had to be some worldly equation in which Jim was the X, yielding a depleting and entropic reaction. That is an equation which would result in a gain for other, while taking a gram of Jim. How many grams does the human spirit contain? From his studies in Science, Jim remembered that one gram of water was equal to a milliliter of water. Based on this universal truth, Jim would attempt to calculate his water volume all while standing on his bathroom scale – now what was the conversion from pounds to kilograms, one thousand grans in a Kilo, right? With math exhausting, Jim focused on more familiar tasks, shaving and the office…
Stopping at green lights and other tales.
Silence. No buzzer, definitely not my Japanese MIDI melody that so often coxes me from a place of sinus and dreams and sleep and slugged procrastination.
9:06. I’m the victim of a saboteur. Alarm clock saboteurs. Those thieves of promise and punctuality. Shower? Iron? Confusion is decidedly so.
I’m late late. There is no slightly late, walk past the door, i’ve been making coffee, getting vending breakfast, stopped in the can, in the copy room late. There is only - “I am running late.”
Stop deciding and start brushing those teeth. You do not have the patience for the sonic brush cycle. You end it feeling like wet soapy sweaters derelict in a Maytag. Shaving is for other times, so are crisp sleeves and cuffs. Now is hurry time. Rush my children to the highway.
Sweeping by the hallway, I get no looks. Not a soul catches the tell tale canyons on the sides of my shirt. There creeks to streams, streams to rivers, creating a delta of impromptu preparedness all where shirt meets pants. No one can tell this. People have screens to stare at.
I stare at mine, no longer a victim, forgetting to unravel the mystery of my saboteurs.
I didn’t ask for whipped cream, but there it sits proudly loafing about upon the top of my white mocha. Not only did I not ask for whipped cream, but I specifically asked for, “no whip.” As I am about to call the barista to remove this foamy trespasser from my rapidly condensing beverage, I stop myself; instead, remembering that this beverage is not for me. I am sure Rachel loves whipped cream. Indeed, Rachel welcomes this surprised visitor and engages him with a childlike fervor.
